The Interpersonal Realm

If the intrapersonal realm is complex then one need only think a moment to imagine how complex the interpersonal world is. Intrapersonal dynamics are, much of the time, directed toward others or energized by the actions of others relative to us. The interpersonal world is filled with many dynamics that have been explored in many different ways. Others starting at infancy become the focal points for many intrapersonal dynamics that leak out into relating to others, who may at first only be known in a fragmented and tentative way often described as part object relations (Ogden, 1989). This primitive side of life arises when a person such as the mother of the infant is experienced by the infant as good at one moment by offering nurturance and bad at another time by withholding nurturance. Early object relations are described as “part” in that the good mother is known to be different from the bad mother. There are two mothers in this example. As the infant develops he or she gradually comes to appreciate that there is but one mother with both good and bad attributes. This much more integrated understanding is described as “whole” object relations that introduce the depressive state. The infant is no longer in control of his or her objects and more importantly, objects (others) can have two or more conflicting attributes. The good mother and the bad mother are, in effect, lost to the mother as a unified person. However, part object relations are always accessible and may reappear if stressful conditions induce psychological regression.

Interpersonal dynamics implicitly incorporate the intrapsychic world thereby filling relationships with others with many hard to understand elements, tensions and hidden agendas. For example, a child who experienced considerable physical and psychological abuse at the hands of his or her mother may very well be highly sensitized to other women who have attributes that remind the person of his or her mother. This interpersonal dynamic may be fuelled by splitting and projection thereby creating an “all bad” other. This tendency may be further generalized to include anyone’s behavior including male behavior that reminds the person of his or her mother’s painful behavior. The result is that distressing self-experience from the past is transferred onto the present, creating the proverbial “hot button.” The response becomes disproportionate to the circumstance. Other aspects of interpersonal dynamics that may be encountered in the workplace are the pursuit of fulfilling excessive dependency needs or needs to withdraw from relating to others altogether.